Palawan Boracay Bahay

• Dad just arrived from his outing with his friends. They went to Boracay. They were lucky since even though they went there during the invasion of the storm, they still get to swim and go around the place.

Here’s the funny thing.
Awhile ago, lunchtime, my dad was telling stories and all those. Then my mom also tells her story from her experience in Palawan. I think I memorized her tales, no wonder because she has shared it gazillion times.

Dad :: Dun sa boracay… ganito ganyan… kinakain naming… Blue Marlin…
Mom :: Sa palawan naman.. kumakain kami dun sa magagandang restaurants…
Lyza :: Dito sa bahay…

Hehe.
I got nothing to say! I have not yet been to those places and the only thing I can share are delicacies I eat at home. hehe. Then they laughed

• Last night I went to the choir practice.
We sang Christmas songs.

I never thought “Joy To The World” is a VERY complicated song. We have it with voicing that’s why. And I learned a new song “Emmanuel”.

I think I’m going to continue this choir thing until there will come a time that I am too busy.

I begin to know people around our village. I don’t usually go outside. But now is the time because there are a lot of singings to do at different places around here.

• I have been playing Pokemon Yellow. I never get to finish that game. I don’t know but this is the only time I figured out how to get the Surf HM. XD I just started yesterday. I almost played the whole day O_O That is why I am in battle with Sabrina, the third to the last Gym Leader before I battle in the Pokemon league. haha! Hope to finish it today because I have no plans of touching the game again when I start to grow tired with it.

XD

Bagyong Milenyo

It rained almost the whole day yesterday; it was signal number 3 that is why they cancelled classes.

I took my time yesterday to accomplish some schoolwork. But unfortunately, we had a blackout approximately 11:00 am in the morning until 6:00 am today. That was almost the whole day. I got no time to study for the rest of my tests and home works so I am grateful they also cancelled our classes today.

The storm has a nice name. Milenyo.
Its name is good so it gave out a pretty nice storm that wrecked roofs, posts, and billboards here in Metro Manila. So I guess next time they name a storm, they should give it a bad name, for a better and less disastrous weather. hehe.

( Yeah I know, it’s not in the name. )

We have a mango tree here in our house. It almost brought down the wall that it was leaning on to. But good thing it did not. It just left the wall with a crack. The next time a storm comes, I bet that wall will be destroyed. Got to fix it.

It was boring without electricity. I can’t even read books!
So I just watched the rain and the people passing by our house. Those people were funny since their umbrella’s were turning upside down xD

This is so random.
hehe.

Well I don’t want to study second quarter anymore. Darn it.
I can’t even show my mom my MQR for chemistry. She’ll be mad obviously.
I think I’ll have a lot of C’s this second quarter. haha. I think.

But if I study (o rly) for the exams and get at least… 75 or 80% on the subjects I think is failing, then I probably would have a chance to get B-‘s. Yeah. Probably.

OMGad.
What’s up with my life?
hehe.

Tawa nalang.

Roman Time

** I have a couple of topics in mind and I’m kind of frustrated because I don’t like to clash everything in one post since it would look messy. That is why, I just need to reserve those and hopefully remember it the moment I seek for my “opinion” writing needs. Wala lang. :)

If you would be living in the time when Romans persecute Christians,would you die for your faith?

The first answer that came into my mind was yes. Yes because at least until the last moment of my life I am able to serve the Lord. I am able to defend my faith and protect my dignity towards my faith. Also, I am able to sacrifice my life just like what Jesus did.

BUT.
It came to me that my answer is no. Why? Because I am afraid to die, to be eaten by lions alive. I am afraid to experience the pain. And I know you can’t blame me for I am human, someone who is not a hundred percent martyr.

“Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die”

I agree with the saying above. Who isn’t afraid to die? Well if some would answer that s/he is not afraid to die well then fine! We are two different people and you can’t really take the fear away from me. I am still young and of course I do not completely understand what “to die for someone you love” means.

If I chose not to die for my faith that does not mean that I give up my faith easily. I will think of other ways to continue living my faith. Just because the Romans say that “Hey, all of you Christians come on out here and be eaten by these lions” it does not mean that I will OBEY the leader. If I did, it’s also giving up and it would give them the idea that “Oh look at those Christians, so weak that they followed us easily.”

If I lived at that time, and someone tells me “Go there, line up ‘till it’s your turn to die”. I will scream at his face NO WAY and let myself be killed as I negate rather than crying as I face the lame punishment.

Following orders is not completely being a martyr. Fighting back is.

If you follow, you will most likely think “I’ll give it all to you God.”

Give it all to Him? So why did He send you here?
To spread peace and love one another (even though they are not of the same religion) isn’t it? Then why would you intend to tell God that let Him be the one to handle your faith, if in the first place He’s the one who send you to DO the MISSION? It’s like telling Him face to face that “I’ll give it all to you since I am trapped and the only thing I can do is DIE. And as I die, I’ll keep my FAITH and give it to you without any damage”

Give it to Him without any damage.
But it would be better if you will give it to Him with damages. Damages because you chose to continue living, loose a Christians dignity and fight for what you think is right. And as you fight, you SPREAD your faith little by little and not letting it fade because every Christian had been persecuted.

God wants His word to spread.
He does not want it to fade just because there is no way to escape.
He won’t send Jesus to save us if he wanted all to die.

“We’ll die anyway.”

We’ll die anyway.
So you chose to just die and throw away the all chances you can have to let the future generation learn about God.

“At least we’re in heaven, with God”

In heaven with God
Leaving the world in the hands of the wrong people.

Oh yes.
Fine.

DIE.

Part of the Process

Last week was frustrating
I bet the following will stay the same.

First, I'm frustrated with my two MQR's. I fail both. Well I can't do anything. Past won't change. It's true that I did fail. Upon seeing the results of my tests, I think I deserve such grade. I was playing the first half of the quarter. Playing in a sense that I don't take these two subjects seriously.

I mean I study them, but at the moment I fail to understand, I give up easily.

Well it's very easy to give up.
Just drop everything and all yer burdends would be gone.

But, the big thing is to accept the consequence of failing.
Which is more painful than unable to understand.

I don't know why important realizations always concludes one's failure.
If you fail, you'll realize that you should not do this and that. But while doing the thing, you can't even contemplate on the future. Weird. Just weird.

ANYWAY.
Same thing happened. I can't do anything but be frustrated.
Remember this frustration.
And beat the rest of the quarter.

At least there is still some perseverance left in me at this point.

I'm thinking of STICKING my failing grades in the walls of my room so it can tell to my face each day that I wake up that "hey, you suck". Then I will answer it with "dream on, your days are over".

Hehe.
Yeah. Just... kidding... ? hehe.

I want to beat those failing marks. If I do, I'll be the happiest person on earth. For that particular minute.

And you know what, I am hating people who are born smart, responsible, unlazy and all those positive remarks. haha!

Sorry I'm not them.
I still need to undergo the process you call LEARNING.

To snub someone

Remember the person I hate?
I have snubbed her twice. Haha! It feels good to snub someone who really deserved to be snubbed.

If she thinks that I am mean, snubbish and all those, well then FINE! It's true... only for her.
Isn't the great? She is at least special in some way.

In-choir

Our project for our Christian Life class for this quarter and for the incoming quarters is to be involved in our parish churches. Meaning we have to serve our parish. Either we go to Catechism, Commentate in the mass or go to Choir etc.

My first choice was to Commentate. But I found out that I need to go to a seminar before I can commentate. That was what my mother told me. Then suddenly I felt lazy to do the job of commentating. I don’t like to do Catechism, teach kids? Not me. So I have no other choice than to join the Choir.

I went to mass a while ago and approached the choir, told them I would like to join. Then the “leader” handed me a Song Book and told me to pick a song. It’s like I’m undergoing auditions, but not because the moment you say you want to join, you’re in. The problem is that I have colds and cough. I can’t sing properly. Well I have no choice but to go for it. I was indifferent at the moment.

The song that I picked was “I Will Sing Forever”.
I thought I will just sing without any piano but he played the piano and he was telling me to reach higher notes. I felt like saying, “Okay I quit” at that moment. It was so weird because, he was testing me. But you can’t really say that it’s testing because he is telling me what to do. I just hoped the he just let me sing without any this and that. And can’t he see I’m sick? Do I need to cough in front of his face to let him realize that I am sick? =_=

So what do you expect? Of course I looked stupid. I felt stupid as well. All that I was thinking is that I wish I am going home already.

I find this project improper.
It’s like forcing the students to be involved. Join the parish to be able to get the signature of the person in charge and pass the subject. After the quarter or the year of getting involved for the grade, absolutely many will quit. It’s not free will. It’s not really contributing something. You can’t contribute something if it’s forced.

I’m thinking if they will give out evaluation forms of this project, aha! Expect rants from me.

The only good point that I can see here, I’ll somehow learn to stretch my vocal chords. And… spend some time with Jesus (but I can do that myself even without joining this choir, more personal and concentrated).

Ellezear

(I’m sick again. I got colds, but I’ll spend some time typing because there’s something I want to share.. hhee)

There is this person who obviously hates me. Nararamdaman ko na nasa loob ang kulo niya. When we meet each other at the corridors, I ignore her. But if I know the person she’s with, I say “hi” to that person and eventually look at her and say “hi”. I really don’t mind about what she thinks. But it’s still evident that she wants me to disappear. Yesterday, during dismissal time, she was with my club mate. So I said hi to my club mate. I looked at her and she gave me a f*** you sign. She said that it was a joke right away. But I think there is no joke there. For me it was a “slip-of-the-tongue”. She probably let go of what she really likes to convey to me.

Well I don’t mind her. And the sign.
As if something will happen if I go to her and discuss about what happened. That act of hers truly made my respect for her lower.

She wasn’t really a part of the dilemma we had last year. Kung baga nakikisali lang siya. And she’s a social climber. She backstabs her best friend. She even told me her anger about that best friend of hers. And she thinks so shallow, she thinks every time we look at her, we are talking about her. She’s so panicky and she really wants some fight.

Hindi ko siya sinisiraan. Sinasabi ko lang ang totoo. Sinisiraan yung nagiimbento ng mga kwento.

I really think at this point that she will never be a good friend if she does not renew herself.

LT's and Interest Test

• The stuffed this week with two long tests. One for Geom and the other for Chem.

We had Geometry LT awhile ago. It sucks! The test was long and the problems were confusing. And again I am hoping that I pass.

Tomorrow, we shall have our Chemistry Long Test. I have not yet studied.
We have to go back to our lessons since the first quarter. And I thought I have escaped the terror of conversion, but not. Perhaps I will just read our past lessons to refresh my mind. I don't plan to do any elaborate memorization. That would just fill my mind with confusion.

• For this week as well we had our Interest test during our guidance period. The Interest Test would determine what are some fields of study that we are somehow interested at. There are about 9-10 fields.

I got Arts/Artistic as my highest but I believe that I'm not really going in to it.

Second highest is Biological Science where the feild of medicine enters. It is true that I am somehow interested at being into this feild. I'm kind of interested at Pedia and Surgery.

My third is Linguistics. I also like this feild. It includes Journalism, Book Critic, Magazine Writer, Columnist, Teacher and all those. I'm interested in Journalism. Perhaps realated to opinions.

The night before we took this test, I was listing down what I want. I included Business but it appears that i'm low. But I guess that does not mean I can't do Business, I'm still thinking about it. I also want something that is related to computers. That is my first thought of course.

The course that I will pick is one thing that bothers me these days. I alwasy wonder what shall I get. I'm trying hard to find out what certain topic would I really want to focus more. It's just so hard to decide. My mom always tell me that it will just come. But I don't think there is enough time. It was my goal since summer to pick what course do I really want and espose myself to that course but I failed to do so. that is why, until now, my poor mind is filled with questions and open for more options. The coices just got more vast this time and that makes it more confusing. But to think about it perhaps it's just right so I can really choose what I want and you know, be certain about it.

• But now, with all of these things stucked in my mind, I'll leave it first here and focus more on tomorrows long (hard) test.

Crapness

The Fact That I'm Lazy

I can’t help it but be lazy sometimes (or often). Instead of bringing my head up and avoiding the tempt of sleeping, I sleep or instead of dropping my leisure I drop my books. It’s hard to regret that I want fun and play times instead of hardships and tortures care of my school works. I just can’t help it.

I have plans for my grades.
I want grades of B for all my subjects. It surely will take a long way for someone who is like me, someone who’s lazy like me. There’s a part of my brain that thinks I can do it and urges me to study. Sometimes, that side of my brain’s effort pays off and I will find myself sitting in my ‘study area’ doing my works.

But this other part of my brain later on, if it find something hard, confusing or even boring, it gets the urge to stop and makes me leave my work. Then I’m off turning on the computer or television, or you’ll find me in my bed, apparently sleeping.

When I begin to stop doing my schoolwork, and later on I’ll find that I only have a short time to accomplish my work, the little bit part of my brain will complain. Meaning I’ll complain to myself. I’ll think that I am so wasted, that I can’t do anything anymore because I’m lazy and all those. So what’s the ending? Crammed works of course.

I try. But later on I loose my focus. Then I’ll complain.

As a matter of fact, nothing is really accomplished.
If I trace what’s the real problem, I blame my laziness and my lack of focus. But those two things are part of me. It’s hard to remove. I don’t know what motivation is to be needed to completely remove those flaws of mine. But I guess it will never be removed unless all of the distractions are (TV, computer…. bedroom, sofa’s, anything soft and sleepable hehe).

I’m not sure what will I do with myself.
What things shall I perform to do all my plans, to be a better student? If only I am smart enough to understand a problem at one shot or memorize a text at one reading. IF ONLY.

But no.
I’m not that. I’m one of those people who dream on of having a very smart brain.

And it’s really hard to focus. I’m just a person who wants fun. Playtime, break time, recess and lunch. If only the world is free of money. Everything will be free and I don’t have to work in the future to earn some. But no, the world isn’t free from money. Because money makes the world go round and it will never give the world a chance to go flat (wha? hehe).

At this point, I’m not really sure. What will I do? I don’t know. Perhaps just continue my troublesome life.

I’ll find answers hopefully. Possibly, a year before I die. :O

The Preparations

I just read my last post before I clicked on "Post New". I realized, that my post was funny. Sounded like it was something sentimental. But it was not. Really.

Okay.
I have fixed the layout so far. I found this layout generator while surfing the internet that is why I was so amazed and I tried it right away. I chose the color pink this time. I often pick up the colors blue and green or maybe orange and red but not this time. It's a pinkish layout with a touch of dark black (okay... dark black, lots of sense). I never liked pink until the time I learned that there is a shade of pink that is not irritating to my eyes.

Back to the topic (let's leave pink and dark black).
I think I'm ready to move here. I'm liking the place. Sort of.
I'll update my other blog directing all the people here. haha.
But of course I won't let them change my link. Only if they want. If they are too lazy then it's fine with me. I still need to place a tag-board and fix my blog buddies. I'm not leaving my old blog anyway. I have some good writings that I want to read again when I'm aged.

I used to call myself "usame" during my first blogging days. It was the shortcut of my Yahoo Messanger ID. But now I find that ID of mine weird and corny leading to the fact that I think "usame" is corny. That's why I would like to use my real name now. I can't think of other online names aside from names that I use in gaming. I just want to be called by my real name in this blogging world.

It's better. Fortunately ü

Aha

It's inevitable that people change. Nevertheless, it's a common thing and no one can predict whether the right time is now or later. But whatever decisions we shall make, there should be only one direction each and everyone of us should take, forward.

Onward do we go to the right place we hunched to be right and we shall face that path with pride and bringing our dignity not letting ourselves down. Sometimes things might be tough and we might think we are being neglected but that thing itself is normal therefore we shall let ourselves learn to stand up by ourselves independently.

So here I come moving on once again.
Not yet sure if forever will I stay.

I'll just wait and decide as I contemplate on my own.