Surrender

Dear Lord,


I ask for your guidance, in every choice I make. For all the responsibilities I will be holding, and for all the challenges that will arrive, give me the strength to face what you have planned. Guide me, through the words that I will say, that I may chose them right and to motivate the people around me. As for myself, I ask for rest and peace of mind, that I may have a a clear vision and aim for the right path. I may not understand everything, or anything at all --- but I will face them all, for I know it is Your will. I may have a hard time, or worse scenario's that I can ever imagine, but I believe that You're just filling in the hole in me, that I cannot learn, unless I fall down on my feet.



-------------------------

Onti nalang talaga. Ayoko na! Mahina akong tao...
Peste...
Ito na ata yung tinatawag nila, or yung sinasabi, na sa "hardest" moments mo, sa KANYA ka lang hihingi ng tulong.
Mahirap sabihin sa iba. Bakit ? Dahil sa sarili mo pa nga lang, hindi mo na maipaliwanag.
Onti nalang talaga! Patong patong. Peste talaga!
Ang hirap abutin ng mga bagay.

LECHE. HAHA. Masyado lang ba akong seryoso ngayong mga araw na ito ? Tinotopak o ano ? Dati naman wala akong pakialam kahit anong mangyari a ? Bakit anong nangyari sa akin! Peste talaga.

Sana bukas.... tapos na ito.
Feel ko nga ang babaw lang niya...
Or sobrang maraming mababaw, mabigat na.

Basta!
Kakayanin ko ito!

Sana.
Lintek.
Bwiset talaga.

:'(
help me cry. JOKE.
HAHAHA. Ayoko ngang umiyak!

:)

Maou

Starring: Ikuta Toma!

Yay! Let's support the actor.
Because of his role as "Nakatsu" in Hana Kimi, he earned a slot in another Japanese Drama.

From a funny character to a serious, detective type series -- you will realize that he can do anything :D HAHA.

I want him to do a romantic drama. I wonder how he will look like :D

More power, IKUTA TOMA!

Time. Move. What to do.

Maybe it is time that I take things, the way I should take them.

Everything is in front of me, I just need to make the first step.



I hate my school at first -- I think it as a lowly class school. Probably because of the fact that I know a lot of people went to known universities, so I get envious. But at this moment, there are a lot of people that I see, pursuing to get high grades. The competition in this feild is obviously high and they are taking it seriously.



Maybe I did not get the chance to grasp reality right away.

But now things are becoming clearer.

I need to go on a straight path, look at what I really need right now.

A step at a time as they say....



I don't really LOVE my course. But I need to get through it. I cannot see what GOd want's me to do... or I cannot see clearly what I want... I'm just placing the blame on others... hahaha. A fallacy.



There is still time.

I can still be positive.



I think I do not belong here.

Or is that what I just think ?



But it is not a reason for me to put everything into waste.



I need to MOVE

Idle

"..."

There are a lot of times where in I go blank. I don't decide right away, I can't think clearly of what I want. Nevertheless I get through things, I just need t decide one by one. Though most of the time, I don't really decide, It's just...there.

Anyway.
I'm getting random as usual.
I want to experience a lot of new things. I want everyday to be a different one, not some routine followed. It's just going to be dull.

Lately I have been challenged. My introvertedness overpowered again.
Its my weakness.

Frankly, I'm getting bored with my school. I just need SOMETHING new. I don't have any inspirations and I miss my friends. I get out of place at times. Though I can't tell it to anybody. As if they care right? HAHA. Even though they care, I don't want them to pity on me. It's wrong. If they are considering me as a friend, they won't flirt when I am around. AHAHA. I have been some kind of unreal to them... things will get worse if I open up. I just have to live life like this for a little longer. They will not undersand me. It's not that I don't want them to, I just DON'T feel comfortable. There's nothing wrong with it right? :]

G o o d D a y

LETSE

One of my weakness in singing is being tested by the instructor. As the instructor let you sing the notes one by one, I get off tune. It is because I get nervous. I don't know why, but I believe that there are things you can't remove from youself. The effort can be seen (well I most certainly try to), but the characteristics stays for some reasons.

In Psychology, they talk about hormones or certain liquids (i don't know what its called) in the brain that measures one's capacity of happiness, depression etc. I guess there is also something that stimulates one's nervousness -- and once it is activated, it is hard to recuperate. Well maybe the stimulator in my body is triggered easily, that is why I have the tendency to feel nervous and I think the only way to contradict it is: Courage -- a characteristic acquired.

The first time I encountered something like this, I cried. But not in front of people. I felt down, who wouldright ? But today, I did have the courage to think about things and tolerate the words and... well let's say... humiliation.

Our instructod told us that we must not be shy about performing, because we are performers. It made me think about ... I know that I am not the best one, but I place my effort because I like what I am doing. However if he uses words that are harsh and thinks that we will ALWAYS be courageous enough to face it, he's wrong. There maybe times that we'll be brave enough and let those things pass, but there will come a time that we will not be able to handle it.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Paimportante naman sa buhay e. Wala ngang grade ito e. Masama ba kasing kumanta dahil gusto mo lang. E kung ayaw pala niyang mahirapang magturo, e bat niya pa kami ipinasa? Ano, DAHIL wala na silang ibang mahatak na mapagtiyatagaan...

Yek. Nagtagalog. And balbal kasi kung tagalog. HAHA.
Anyway, mahirap talaga pag kinakabahan... HALATA sa boses. Unang mahahalata ang pagkakaba sa boses. Kaya hirap ako. Ang kaso, kahit isang libong advices pa ang ibigay sa akin, wala silang magagawa dahil AKO ang kinakabahan at ang boses ko ang nanginginig. Ako lang ang magpapakalma sa sarili ko at ako lang ang makakapagdiretso sa boses ko.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Palalampasin ko ito.
Tapos na itong issue sa buhay ko pagkatapos kong i-post ang blog na ito.

After ng First Semester... ayoko na.