Classes This Summer

Get up at 5.
Go to school at 7 or 6:30.
Spend the whole day in school up to 4 or 6.
Do home works from 7 to 10.
Sleep exactly at 10.

This is what I have been doing these past days. I hardly believe that I have put up a study habit. Once I'm stressed out, I use the computer or shout at whoever is in this house.

:|

What would it become of me. HAHAHA.

:(

:(

Acceptance

To be able to advance from something, you must accept that you are on the lowest level. It is hard to accept that you are one of the lowest, because you don't want people to say that you are nothing. However, today I realized that acceptance is a big thing.

No one can tell that you have accepted something, but yourself.
It took me 3 years before this day came. Before I decided to be serious about this organization. My participation and presence is not important compared to how I perform. If our group haven't undergone such problems, I may not realize this one -- because I have a LOT of people to rely on -- while I hide myself from performing better. They do the work, I make a lazy bum out of myself. I do try their advice, but that's it. I do not keep it in mind.

I really grow slowly and whenever there isn't any factor that will provoke me, I do not think for myself.

I guess this is one of the turning points in my life.
I am glad I found it. I hope I will be able to express myself more when the right time comes, (insert random issue issue issue)

I wonder what's up with my summer this year.
I'll hold on to this curiosity.

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I know this person, he knows a little bit of everything and he study something when he wishes to. Things that I think is "boring". But he still does it and puts his efforts in it. The same goes for this younger lady. I don't know why they put in much effort on those kinds of things -- small ones.

Even though it seems boring, I realized that it will be cool at times. You only have one life, and to spend it in front of the computer the whole day? Crap.

There will come a time that I will leave this desk and live the outside life. I will not be able to post on forums, but I will be able to talk to different kinds of people. I will not be able to watch a funny video on youtube, but I will be able to watch a hilarious scene right in front of my eyes. I may not be able to write everyday, but everyday, I will be able to tell it to someone.

Bottomline? BE HAPPY THAT I AM IN FRONT OF THIS DESK RIGHT NOW! Because there will come a time, that I will really -- miss it. :)

My Anger

Last night, I was almost angry.
I don't know how to become angry and answer back at other people, but if it is my mom or dad or brother, I can freely answer back because I know that they will forgive me anyway.

But if it is with the case of other people? I have a lot of patience and I don't know how to tell what I really feel. I tend to become more quiet. All I can do to release my anger is to talk to another person who feels the same. Good thing I have some good laughs as well, I kind of forgot my anger. Thank God. I was able to clear my mind that I shall not make what I felt a bigger issue. There would be a right time where I can criticize constructively.

I hope it goes well.