The Fact That I'm Lazy

I can’t help it but be lazy sometimes (or often). Instead of bringing my head up and avoiding the tempt of sleeping, I sleep or instead of dropping my leisure I drop my books. It’s hard to regret that I want fun and play times instead of hardships and tortures care of my school works. I just can’t help it.

I have plans for my grades.
I want grades of B for all my subjects. It surely will take a long way for someone who is like me, someone who’s lazy like me. There’s a part of my brain that thinks I can do it and urges me to study. Sometimes, that side of my brain’s effort pays off and I will find myself sitting in my ‘study area’ doing my works.

But this other part of my brain later on, if it find something hard, confusing or even boring, it gets the urge to stop and makes me leave my work. Then I’m off turning on the computer or television, or you’ll find me in my bed, apparently sleeping.

When I begin to stop doing my schoolwork, and later on I’ll find that I only have a short time to accomplish my work, the little bit part of my brain will complain. Meaning I’ll complain to myself. I’ll think that I am so wasted, that I can’t do anything anymore because I’m lazy and all those. So what’s the ending? Crammed works of course.

I try. But later on I loose my focus. Then I’ll complain.

As a matter of fact, nothing is really accomplished.
If I trace what’s the real problem, I blame my laziness and my lack of focus. But those two things are part of me. It’s hard to remove. I don’t know what motivation is to be needed to completely remove those flaws of mine. But I guess it will never be removed unless all of the distractions are (TV, computer…. bedroom, sofa’s, anything soft and sleepable hehe).

I’m not sure what will I do with myself.
What things shall I perform to do all my plans, to be a better student? If only I am smart enough to understand a problem at one shot or memorize a text at one reading. IF ONLY.

But no.
I’m not that. I’m one of those people who dream on of having a very smart brain.

And it’s really hard to focus. I’m just a person who wants fun. Playtime, break time, recess and lunch. If only the world is free of money. Everything will be free and I don’t have to work in the future to earn some. But no, the world isn’t free from money. Because money makes the world go round and it will never give the world a chance to go flat (wha? hehe).

At this point, I’m not really sure. What will I do? I don’t know. Perhaps just continue my troublesome life.

I’ll find answers hopefully. Possibly, a year before I die. :O