Supposedly Happy

I joined the concert of our choir a while ago care of the U.P. ICTUS
There were a couple of other choirs who joined as well. I think it was for the fund raising and for the benefit of the children whom ICTUS is helping.

As the concert started and ended, I was happy. Everyone was happy.

But as we walked going to McDonalds, Ate Juliet and Ate Peps here were ranting and rambling about stuffs that I think they misunderstood. I cannot understand why they are so prejudge mental and bitter. They think a lot of unwanted stuffs, they tell about their doubts about Kuya Jayson. It's because they are both frustrated with Kuya Jayson for some reasons that they think he is neglecting them. Ate Juliet is his cousin while Ate Peps has a crush on him. Ate Juliet here is in favor of Ate Peps for Kuya Jayson. But the problem is Ate Peps thinks that he likes this other girl who recently joined the choir JUST because he handed his umbrella first to that new member instead to her.

That was a very shallow reason! For me it is!
Then they started telling "maybe's" about Kuya Jayson.
They started to assume that he likes her. OMG! They said that the girl was his "type". So? Is liking a person means you love the person? No can do! Crush is admiration while love is a commitment. If she herself doubt him at this point, they can't be together. If ever they would be together, there would be a lot of misunderstandings.

UNLESS Ate Peps here sit back and think about all the things. I'm not saying that she does not know what she's doing. It's just she and Ate Juliet are developing their prejudice attitude more and more.

When I first join the choir they were the ones I go along with. I thought they were good. I thought they would make me enjoy the choir because they were somehow reserved like me unlike the others who are extroverts.

But now I realize that, hey they are taking me away from the choir.

What made me say that?
It's because they are also talking about not going to the choir to SEE or TEST if Kuya Jayson would care for them. And they also told me not to go to the choir. They told me "aren't you tired?" I said that no I'm not and it's okay for me. In my case I'm not just going to the choir for them to notice me, I'm going there because I want to be part of the choir. They keep on ranting but they never left the choir. They just say that because they are frustrated at that point. They could not put their words into action because I think they are going to the choir not just because of that. They have other reasons. And those reasons... still I don't know. I just feel that there's still something, something not materialistic that makes them go on.

At this point, I can't say that I'm close to them. I don't really have real friends in the choir. They are all my acquaintance. Despite of that, I still am happy to join them. I like watching them and maybe talking to them. I want to be their friend. I may be the quiet person around there and the most introverted one, BUT I know in myself that I am open. I am open to try, to talk and to have fun. But it's not going to work if not everybody wants to talk and wants to have fun.

Honestly I'm kind of frustrated to Ate Juliet and Ate Peps. I just can't tell them. There's something that is stopping me. Maybe I am not confident to express myself that there is a barrier between me and the things I want to say.

I want to tell them that they should hear or talk to Kuya Jayson first before assuming and judging him. That is the problem to some people. They are too prejudge mental that they can't tell it straight to someone. If ever someone will tell them "spit it out" they will say no to that and start to defend themselves saying "he won't understand" or "do he care?"

Damn. Common sense! It's true they won't understand for you did not get the chance to explain!! Can't you see?

It's like the wind passing right in front of you yet you are to numb to feel because of the jacket that you are wearing.

I hope that I could tell a member of our choir about this feelings of mine.

DAMN.
The heck.
I should not think about this. They should realize their own faults.

Maybe I should try to go along with Ate Wance, Tessa and Khat at the moment. I think even though they are outspoken, it's because they know each other since then. And maybe they could understand me more than Ate Juliet and Ate Peps.

Hmpf.
ARGGGG.

Nako. Basta ako. Kanta na nga lang ako! HAHA. GRRR. Let them. They are oldies. Let them fight. AHHHHH. AESSDTFUGPHIJDKO