You're 60? Okay. Next please.

June 2, 2007 -- I went to my father's office, for the traffic in Ateneo irritated me. I decided to wait with my father rather than stand up in line, waiting for a long time just to end up at the same time with my father. A

Anyway, when I went in his office, there was a strange face inside. Furthermore, that strange face is sitting in my father's chair! I was surprised and I thought "What the heck" because he does not have the authority to be sitting there. I did not bother to interview my father who is he, what's he doing there, and last but not least, why is he sitting in his chair.

I helped myself and found a seat, just near so that I could observe what he was doing. Arranging books, sticking barcodes, getting library cards -- Wow, I know what you are thinking, ang pakialamero niya! But, I have another thing in mind.

This is the one that hit me: The strange face is no other than a trainee, someone who will be a librarian, someone who will replace my father -- at the moment he retires.

I realized that it's really true, my father will retire. It’s easy to talk about retirement and joke about it. However, upon undergoing the real thing? I don’t know how to react. I’m not the one who will retire – but I am affected. It’s not the money I am thinking – it is the days he spent half of his life with. Since college he was working there already (yes, my father is a working student). Assuming he is around 19 back then, and now he’s 59. Forty years of staying there, then you just wake up and your service is over.

That place is also memorable for me. Since my nursery days I stay there to wait for my father so that we could go home together because I can’t commute by myself. I remember running in the aisles of the numerous books in that library. My father never got angry of me running, for he knows I would not run 'till the end of the aisle because it is dark and narrow. I often scare myself by turning of the lights and challenging myself to go to the end. Sometimes I even look hard in the dark to see if there were ghosts. I learned that there was none, during 5th grade. I also learned how to use the computer there for the first time! There was this old computer located at the corner of the library which one can’t really notice that you’re there. Its operating system is windows 95 and it is still in black and white. I experienced sleeping, studying, eating and breaking the rules in the library. I break the rules because I know my father was the head. I got the rights to do so. I also witnessed the construction of the new location of the office of my dad. Also the first spray of the deodorizer in the aisles of books – thinking it was some supernatural making sounds at first.

I could list down lots of things if only I have time. Maybe I’ll do that one of these days. It would be a project :3 In the memory of “The Library”

Well anyway I guess I just pity my dad, that’s why I get affected. I believe there are really lots of things that I still do not understand – retirement is part of it. Why leave if you can still work? Why find a replacement if you are so able? One is still living, aware and does the work habitually and thinking that "Old Habits die hard", what could go wrong?

That trainee, I am frustrated at him. Nevertheless I shall accept reality. Even if I burn him to death, they will eventually recruit a new one – until I kill that new one and then… well it’s going to be an endless cycle. How bloody.

Writing my thoughts here kind of made me not think of it after publishing this.

It’s not tomorrow anyway.

I still got time to spend preciously.
What a crappy way to end. I wish I am good at terminating. HAHA!