pagpatuloy

Well maybe this feeling of mine is slowly fading away -- i mean the everyday happiness. This past week, my spirits are high and I can make myself happy by just listening to music or playing a game or simply petting my dog. However I think it started to fade, I'm getting the feeling of being down again. Well maybe it is because of the loads that I get in school, my laziness, and the pessimistic thoughts I'm thinking -- it ruins the positivity and drive in me.

I started being unusually happy when I listened to music while I study. I backed it up with the unusual concentration in my head. Actually, I always keep in mind that I will get A in math. Sometimes, it is being blocked by nasty thoughts like "what? A? C'mon I can never reach that" and the like. But I strive to get everything perfect. At this point, I haven't missed a score -- hw, sw -- I got them all perfect (only in math though) and I recite more often even though an answer needs to be explained fine -- all I think is my grade to be A. I also ask my teacher whenever I have a problem and goodness , she helps!

There was once when my teacher returned my paper with a -2 overall. I talked with my partner (because it was a pair work) that we shall ask our teacher to correct it because she have approved it and yet it was marked wrong. My partner said "Just leave it as is..." but I did not listen to her -- I'm up to the grade and if I got to do something for it I'll go for it!

I realized that when I'm filled with the drive, I will do anything.
Seriously. I like the feeling of being responsible. HAHA.
I hope this attitude keeps on going until the school year ends.

But....
Like I said I feel that it is starting to fade. I'm getting lazy again and -- I only have the drive for math -- not on all subjects. I'm starting to fail economics and my filipino is in no good. Projects here and there -- I want to throw them all.

Am I losing the drive ?
Well I have never had a drive for everything except for math...

I'm still unbalanced at this point.
I guess that will bring about my failure

*hopefully not -- crosses fingers*